it's terribly fitting that this episode premiered when i decided to return to penn state.
25 December 2009
this american home
a week ago, the chicago public radio show, this american life, broadcast the episode "#1 party school". as a fan of the show, this particular episode hit home: it was about my home town. technically, i was born and raised for a short time in western pennsylvania. however, it is the tiny town of state college that is home to me. while this place is home to me, it also houses 40,000+ students every year. needless to say, it's a very strange place.
it's terribly fitting that this episode premiered when i decided to return to penn state.
it's terribly fitting that this episode premiered when i decided to return to penn state.
23 December 2009
it's official
after months of debating if i'm ready; after weeks of research; after countless e-mails, phone calls, and appointments, i am officially re-enrolled in school. i feel like it's taken me forever to get here, but i know it will be worth it.
it's been two whole years since i dropped out of college. in those two years, i finally feel i have a grasp on what i want to do. now to get that blasted degree!
it's been two whole years since i dropped out of college. in those two years, i finally feel i have a grasp on what i want to do. now to get that blasted degree!
16 December 2009
the first successful knitting in the round project.
cowl one, originally uploaded by mybuffaloheart.
i finally taught myself to knit in the round from a pattern found here. i edited the pattern and made it shorter. i think it turned out well! perfect for these chilly winter days.
23 November 2009
sunset on 11.11.09
this is what i love about pennsylvania in the fall -- you can see some of the most beautiful sunsets.
16 November 2009
onward & upward
the leaves have changes; we've had our first snow, which all culminates in bringing about that blasted seasonal affective disorder, the autumnal slump. the post-summer warmth hardly lasted through the end of september. the blustery winds, the wicked rains, the gray days -- all key characteristics of the fall -- are here to stay. i am definitely feeling a case of the s.a.d.s.
i suppose everything is especially hard this year. i've been trying to stay positive, but some days, it's really hard. i still feel horribly displaced -- i'm without proper transportation, i don't have internet, i might be out of a place to live in a few months. i suppose it's just my nature to be frustrated when some many things are up in the air; when so many events are contingent on another.
right now, my primary concern is school. i feel i am finally ready to finish my degree. i'm working hard, doing my research, and planning to be back in school in january. granted, i am apprehensive -- being on an academic hiatus for two years makes it intimidating to return. alas, i'm not getting any younger, and it's time to have a degree so i can find that job i'm really passionate about.
focusing on school has definitely been a good outlet during my emotional turmoil. luckily, i have really supportive friends who have my back no matter what i decide. that's what it comes down to: it's my decision, it's my life. i'm remaining patient, i'm staying cautious, and i'm taking it one day at a time. most of all, i'm remaining optimistic. both b and i are really working on ourselves -- i have as much to work on as he does, although his journey is full of grander battles. we've hit speed bumps. we've worked through obstacles, but that doesn't mean we have to quit on each other. i believe we are now more committed to each other than ever.
on a lighter note, i've been knitting a lot lately and testing out a few new patterns. i finished a pair of arm warmers and i am working on a cowl. this is my first time using circular knitting needles and i think i'm doing okay! along with that. kristen and i have been doing some serious work on the past and pending, which will be open for business again very soon. there are a lot of projects in the works and i couldn't be more excited!
i suppose everything is especially hard this year. i've been trying to stay positive, but some days, it's really hard. i still feel horribly displaced -- i'm without proper transportation, i don't have internet, i might be out of a place to live in a few months. i suppose it's just my nature to be frustrated when some many things are up in the air; when so many events are contingent on another.
right now, my primary concern is school. i feel i am finally ready to finish my degree. i'm working hard, doing my research, and planning to be back in school in january. granted, i am apprehensive -- being on an academic hiatus for two years makes it intimidating to return. alas, i'm not getting any younger, and it's time to have a degree so i can find that job i'm really passionate about.
focusing on school has definitely been a good outlet during my emotional turmoil. luckily, i have really supportive friends who have my back no matter what i decide. that's what it comes down to: it's my decision, it's my life. i'm remaining patient, i'm staying cautious, and i'm taking it one day at a time. most of all, i'm remaining optimistic. both b and i are really working on ourselves -- i have as much to work on as he does, although his journey is full of grander battles. we've hit speed bumps. we've worked through obstacles, but that doesn't mean we have to quit on each other. i believe we are now more committed to each other than ever.
on a lighter note, i've been knitting a lot lately and testing out a few new patterns. i finished a pair of arm warmers and i am working on a cowl. this is my first time using circular knitting needles and i think i'm doing okay! along with that. kristen and i have been doing some serious work on the past and pending, which will be open for business again very soon. there are a lot of projects in the works and i couldn't be more excited!
30 September 2009
i had another birthday
it's a good thing my birthday only comes once a year because i become too hyper for my own good and basically get a little out of control. this year was no exception! i was fortunate enough to ring in another year with the best friends a girl could ask for.
mike and i had a bit of a soirée at his house friday, the 18th - and my actual birthday, for both our special days. his day was the following monday and therefore no fun. we had our lovely friends over with lots of drinks to be had! early in the evening, i helped kristen bake some of her tasty vegan cupcakes for the occasion. okay, i really only poured the soy milk in the bowl while she was mixing. but i was there for moral support! i also helped devour the cupcakes. mmm chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter icing! i died. as an added bonus, my friend jason bought me framboise for my birthday. it was so tasty!
the next night was a house roustabout! with the maximums and the tell-tale signs. amazing! i had so much fun! plus, my dear friends jenn, dave zak, and shane came to state college for the event and to help me celebrate. it was so good to see them! there was a bottle of whiskey, dancing, and so many good people.
sunday rounded out the birthday events with margaritas and more beer. cameron, shane, mike, and i had a movie fest that included teen wolf, teen wolf too, peewee's big adventure, and wayne's world. it was quite the ridiculous day.
even though it's been almost two weeks, i'm still trying to readjust to being functional again. plus, i caught this nasty cold that's been plaguing me. oh well - i have to keep trucking! on that note, my favorite photo from my birthday by jenn:
mike and i had a bit of a soirée at his house friday, the 18th - and my actual birthday, for both our special days. his day was the following monday and therefore no fun. we had our lovely friends over with lots of drinks to be had! early in the evening, i helped kristen bake some of her tasty vegan cupcakes for the occasion. okay, i really only poured the soy milk in the bowl while she was mixing. but i was there for moral support! i also helped devour the cupcakes. mmm chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter icing! i died. as an added bonus, my friend jason bought me framboise for my birthday. it was so tasty!
the next night was a house roustabout! with the maximums and the tell-tale signs. amazing! i had so much fun! plus, my dear friends jenn, dave zak, and shane came to state college for the event and to help me celebrate. it was so good to see them! there was a bottle of whiskey, dancing, and so many good people.
sunday rounded out the birthday events with margaritas and more beer. cameron, shane, mike, and i had a movie fest that included teen wolf, teen wolf too, peewee's big adventure, and wayne's world. it was quite the ridiculous day.
even though it's been almost two weeks, i'm still trying to readjust to being functional again. plus, i caught this nasty cold that's been plaguing me. oh well - i have to keep trucking! on that note, my favorite photo from my birthday by jenn:
(myself + shane)
08 September 2009
new beginnings
many events come to pass in life that seem completely surreal, that leave one shell-shocked and questioning. i've experienced a number of these moments and, even in my shock, i am able to see the logic behind it. for some reason, the means from point a to point b have always made sense to me - no matter how disconcerting the situation is.
the latest disaster happened to me just over a month ago. perhaps i shouldn't write about it; that would be tactless. however, i feel some overwhelming urge to explain how everything was to how everything is, while giving the vaguest details possible.
in january of this year, i moved to philadelphia with my boyfriend. two weeks ago, i moved back to state college, newly single. there it is: point a and point b. how did we get here? it is not lack of love or respect. i chalk it up to bad timing and bad behavior - on both ends. we continue to love and respect each other. yet, at this point in our life, it just wasn't meant to be. maybe when we're older; maybe when our heads are clearer.
here i am, back in state college. this is the second time i've moved away, only to return after a short time, but i know this is where i need to be right now. i've forced my departure from this place so many times. perhaps i need to let it happen more naturally next time.
while i'm here though, i plan on being more optimistic. i have plans for myself: back to work at the lounge, start up the etsy store again, start shopping for schools. these are really good short-term projects that will keep me occupied and help me focus again.
despite feeling incredibly displaced and as if my life has been turned upside down, i, for once, am not panicking. i actually feel really positive about everything. it's a great feeling!
the latest disaster happened to me just over a month ago. perhaps i shouldn't write about it; that would be tactless. however, i feel some overwhelming urge to explain how everything was to how everything is, while giving the vaguest details possible.
in january of this year, i moved to philadelphia with my boyfriend. two weeks ago, i moved back to state college, newly single. there it is: point a and point b. how did we get here? it is not lack of love or respect. i chalk it up to bad timing and bad behavior - on both ends. we continue to love and respect each other. yet, at this point in our life, it just wasn't meant to be. maybe when we're older; maybe when our heads are clearer.
here i am, back in state college. this is the second time i've moved away, only to return after a short time, but i know this is where i need to be right now. i've forced my departure from this place so many times. perhaps i need to let it happen more naturally next time.
while i'm here though, i plan on being more optimistic. i have plans for myself: back to work at the lounge, start up the etsy store again, start shopping for schools. these are really good short-term projects that will keep me occupied and help me focus again.
despite feeling incredibly displaced and as if my life has been turned upside down, i, for once, am not panicking. i actually feel really positive about everything. it's a great feeling!
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